FIRE

Recently I’ve had this annoying unsatisfied feeling hanging around. I feel like I’m stuck in a rut (again), trying to get ahead but always being pulled back. And somehow at the same time I’m feeling restless but apathetic.

I’ve been reading FIRE blogs and I guess the idea resonates with me. Maybe I’m just romanticising the freedom that comes with it. I think if I could just reach the stage where I don’t have to work because I need to… but can because I want to. Playing around with the calculators all put me around 11-12yrs away. I just don’t know if I can remain stagnant here for that long. I mean I’m good with the heads down and charge forward but every now and then something ends up shitting me. And I want to be a hermit again and not have to deal. Which doesn’t really work if you’re on a schedule.

Some days I wonder what it’ll be like to just throw it all in and do something crazy. Then the responsible part of me smacks me in the back of the head and tells me to grow up. Can’t win…

And when I get frustrated with life I get annoyed at everything in general. And at the moment that’s the mess surrounding me. So a few yrs ago I put up this:

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Seemed a good idea at the time. Increased the privacy a bit and seemed neater. Well it didn’t stand up to the test of time. Most of the wire holding the reed fencing together was starting to rust which means whole sections would break down in windy storms. And the sections in the sun bleached and looked blotchy. Then there was the amount of junk that got caught up behind the reed fencing and between the balcony walls. Finally pulled it all down, chucking it out is going to be another matter entirely. I threw half out but it doesn’t exactly fit in the bin.

Then I ended up with this giant pile of crap I had to sweep up…

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Like I said… mess… annoying… But at least it’s all gone now. Still need to rethink the balcony idea. Obviously reed fencing isn’t the solution although for about two and a half yrs it did ok. I just need something easy, non permanent and not ugly. Perhaps I’m asking for too much.

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